We might as well laugh More Humor while we wait!!!
Sabickford: The biggest lie I tell myself…”I don’t need to write this down, I’ll remember it.”
My People skills are just fine. It my tolerance of idiots that needs work.
Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud
Ignorance can be trained and Crazy can be medicated… But there’s no cure for stupid.
Kids don’t know how easy they have it today. When I was Young I had to walk 9 Feet through Shag Carpet to Change the TV Channel.
Good Mom’s let you lick the beaters. Great Mom’s let you turn them off first.
You don’t get smarter as you get older. There is just less stupid stuff that you haven’t already done.
Stop trying to change yourself with resolutions. Accept you’re a mess and move on.
If you can’t handle me at my worst,,, I don’t blame you. I can’t either
Don’t give up on your dreams…Go Back to sleep
An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough
Mean people don’t bother me. Mean people who disguise themselves as nice people bother me.
I love when the smoke alarm cheers me on while I’m cooking
Just calling to remind you that I know you in real life, so your Facebook posts aren’t fooling anyone.
Stalking is when two people go for a long walk – but only one of them knows about it.
If you can’t say something nice, say something clever but devastating
I wish I was as fat as I was the first time I thought I was fat
I don’t wish people “Good Morning” I just say “Morning”, then it’s up to them. I’m not taking responsibility for the stuff
I’m starting to think I’m the ugly friend that gets invited out all the time just to make sure my friends look more attractive.
Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them
We have been through so much together – And most of it was YOUR Fault
I don’t understand why you pay a shrink. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you for free.
I don’t get offered drugs nearly as much as D.A.R.E. said I would
Some people want a perfect relationship. I just want a cheeseburger that looks like the ones in the commercials.
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair, no makeup, and PJ’s all Day! Who’s with me.
If you see me eating a salad in a restaurant, I’ve been Kidnapped and I’m trying to signal you.
I’d like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.
My Kids call it “Nagging”. I call it “Just do what I freaking told you to do the first time”!
Find people you don’t have to hide your weirdness from
“Always Drunk” sounds a little harsh. I prefer “Selectively Sober”
Do you ever have so much stuff planned for the next day and then you wake up and You’re just like “Nah”?
Think Old and you’ll be old, Think young and you’ll be a delusional Old Fart
My Goal was to lose 10 Lbs. this year. Only 15 more to go.
My Diet is best described as”Unsupervised Child at a Birthday Party”
Speaking my mind is easy …. Speaking Tactfully not so much
I tried being normal once but never again will I subject myself to such terrible torture
Auto Correct has Become my Worst Enema
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement. In the end you ignore everything and click “I Agree”.
I Meditate. I Burn Candles. I Drink Green Tea. And Sometimes I still want to Smack some people.
I’m going to the woods to scream for awhile. Anyone wanna come?
If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
Have a great week !
Sent from my phone with Blog This WOW